Logan starts preschool today.
I slept like crap. I got a terrible stomach ache before I went to bed last night, and it carried through all the way through the night.
I honestly don't know if I just have a normal old upset stomach.....or if my anxiety and stress may have caused it. It wouldn't be out of the ordinary for me. When I am emotionally upset or the like, I have a tendency to inadvertently make myself ill. Annoying.
We had a pretty busy day overall yesterday. Logan was up WAY too early, and was in a mood all morning. It was extremely frustrating. Especially after he'd been so good on Friday and Saturday. We had a party to go to at 2pm, and of course I had a ton of things to get done by then. Managed to get everything done, and almost leave when I wanted to. The party was a lot of fun and really nice. He had a pretty good time and really wore himself out. Stayed longer than I thought we would, we didn't go to leave until about 5:15pm. Both kids were asleep a few minutes after we got in the car to go home. Meredith stayed asleep and took a decent nap...... Logan did not. My husband tried to bring him up and put him in bed, and I'm not sure how it all went down, but they both came down about 10 minutes later. Sigh.
The poor kid was exhausted and cranky and really could've used that nap. I probably would've left him in his room, even if it meant a few tears. Daddy isn't as patient or good at judging these situations though. Oh well.
We got everyone settled and had dinner a little while later, and then had a big argument with Logan over taking a bath. He just wanted to play "mogydycle" with daddy (motorcycle video game. Ay yi yi.) Got him all cleaned up, with a lot of yelling, which isn't usually like him-he's usually begging to take a bath lately! Afterward I had to try and refocus his attention a little, because we had a few things to do for school. A paper about himself to fill out, and an "All about me" bag, in which we chose 5 items that help describe him for a show and tell type thing they will do. Got all that done, wanted to get a few photos of 'the night before school,' with him putting his stuff into his backpack. He was less than cooperative, but I got a few pictures. Then I just wanted a few photos of him standing in his pjs real nice, and he was being a pain with that too. But again, I think I got at least 1 or 2 halfway decent photos, (I'll post later.)
Today I've got a little sign with the date, his age, and saying it's his first day of preschool for him to hold up and take a photo of. And I have the video camera all ready and charged with a new disc-my brother was supposed to take video of him getting on the bus and all, but now he has to work until 8am, sooooo.....he says he'll rush right home, but this bus is supposed to be here at 8:15am. So we'll see.
I'll just take a little video of him before 8 with his backpack on and maybe talking about school or something. I don't think I can multi-task good enough to take photos, video AND actually get the child on the bus. I may see if my neighbor can take video if I see them outside-they wake up pretty early almost every day.
I just love videos, and really enjoy how the few videos we have from my parents camcorder from when I was a child make me feel. My grandfather passed in 1993, but it's bittersweet to be able to see him on those Christmas videos from my childhood. A picture is amazing, but having video and being able to hear someone's voice again is priceless. I am not the best mom, I am not a patient person, I can be lazy, I swear, I get angry at my kids.... But when my children are older I want them to be able to remember all these special moments. I want them to have vivid, beautiful memories of their childhood. Cheesy, I know, but it's how I feel. And I have such an amazing mother (though I'm sure for about 5-6 years of my teenage years I didn't make her feel like it), that I feel like I have a lot to live up to. I want my kids to remember all the little things I did to make things special.
I hear people ripping on these projects and things on Pinterest, making fun of crafty moms and such. Saying maybe you should spend TIME with your kids, instead of making them sandwiches that look like owls, or apple slices and grapes that look like cars...... But why can't you do both?? When I look back on my younger years, it's all those small things my mom did, the tiny gestures, that I remember and remind me how much she cared. And I want my kids to feel the same way.
So hopefully I get some good photos and a little video of Logan today.
Hopefully I can hold back the tears.
Hopefully he isn't crabby when I wake him up (I've got to wake him up at 7am-which is early than he normally wakes on his own).
Hopefully he doesn't give me a hard time going potty and getting dressed so early (we usually eat breakfast and lounge in our pjs for a couple hours).
And hopefully he's still excited about school.
I know he was excited about riding the bus, and every time he sees a school bus he yells and points and gets excited. I'm just hoping that him getting on the bus and realizing I'm not coming with him won't be a problem. He's not going to know anyone on the bus, and I'm sure he doesn't realize that. I just hope maybe there will already be some other kids on it to get him excited (I doubt it-we might be the first stop, he gets picked up at 8:15-and school is at 8:55, so that's a long bus ride).
I kind of wish my mom was here today. She's so organized and calm and collected.
I try to be organized, but forget things sometimes. I think I've got everything he needs in his backpack, which I'm assuming the teachers check everyday? I don't know how this works exactly. I would imagine they check it everyday for anything from me, and I check it every day for stuff from school/the teacher.
I've got his clothes laid out and ready to go. We might be wearing our new sneakers, but something tells me he is going to give me a hard time about it, and want to wear his current ones-he can be very decisive sometimes.
Well, it's just about time to go wake him up. Id' better go get his breakfast ready and hope for the best.
I'm more worried about me having a breakdown than him though I think.
EDIT:
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