1/19/12

Today was another eventful, busy day.
Meredith was COMPLETELY uncooperative last night, so for the second night in a row I got basically no sleep. I feel terrible when it's the middle of the night, I've just gotten to or fallen back asleep, then she's up screaming, won't go back to sleep, and I get all irritated. I told myself I was going to stop acting that way. As part of my whole embracing each moment, and appreciating her while she's little (since I'm already missing and yearning for her to be smaller again). But I was extra crabby, probably because I hadn't slept on Tuesday night because of the whole situation with going to the hospital with my dad (I slept from MAYBE about 6:45-8:45am on Wednesday morning). So I'm sure if I'd been running on some kind of sleep from the night before I would've been more patient, but I wasn't. I feel bad when I get angry at my sweet baby girl. But anyway, I finally caved in and gave her a bottle after her screaming and crying inconsolably. I couldn't give her any tylenol or advil for her teeth (it appeared to be teething pain bothering her), because I had already given her some before she went to bed, so it was too soon to give her anything else.I try not to do any feedings in the middle of the night if I can, because I know it can be a bad habit, and a step backwards in the whole getting her to sleep at a decent time, and staying asleep through the night, but oh well, for some reason it worked!
Now tonight, however, Logan has already been up crying twice. So I suspect I may be going on a third night of little sleep! (Right now I'm just finishing up some tea and trying to clear my head before I lay down).

So after getting a little bit of sleep this morning finally (barely), I had to get up and really get my butt in gear. My dad is still in the hospital, and Matt was working during the day. My mom had to take my car so she could go renew her license (Today's her birthday!), then be back her for us to get ready to go to the funeral home for the wake/viewing for Matt's grandpa who passed away on Monday. I decided to take the baby with us. I wasn't sure if my mom was going to attempt to go up to the hospital at all, and if she did, it would be near impossible with her babysitting both kids. And I figured even if she stayed home, just having Logan only might be a bit easier and maybe she could try to rest and relax a little.
Then since we were in Strongsville anyway, I had to make a return to Victoria's Secret from some items I had ordered online, and the mall is right there 2 minutes away, so I ran in there after the viewing to make my returns.
It was FREEZING by the time we left the funeral home. Very bitter cold and windy.
Then when I got home I got Logan's little tush into bed, tried to sit down for a breather, but between getting Meredith up and in bed, and Logan's wake-ups it was pretty hard. I wanted to take a shower, but that just didn't happen. So I'll have to get up early tomorrow so I can do that. Then my mom and I finally got some quiet time, and we sat and watched Grey's Anatomy, and I ate...again....today was a bad day for my diet.I know I've consumed WAY too many calories today. And for the first time in about 10 months I'm drinking regular soda (I had no Pepsi Max cold), yeah, I could've drank water....but I didn't. Oh well. And here I am now! It doesn't sound like much, but today was exhausting.
I would hope I could say tomorrow will be calmer, but they are probably supposed to be releasing my father from the hospital, so I don't want to even venture to think it may be a calm day.
They think they found the possibly main cause of his passing out. I hope so. Because this was getting ridiculous.
They did this tilt-table text and have concluded it must be his low blood pressure. He used to have high blood pressure, and weigh over 200. Well after the Kidney Cancer and removal, he dropped over 40 lbs. without even trying. And in turn it seems to have drastically dropped his blood pressure. So they want him to gain some weight back, raise his blood pressure (eat as much salty food as he likes!), and out him on new medication. So hopefully, maybe that will be the end of this!!
I can only hope...