Thursday, November 17, 2011

Sorry Blog

Sorry blog. I've been neglecting you.
Again.

I think I've just got myself involved in too many things, too quickly, all at once. And with little spare time!!
My mom and I have always been couponers, but over the summer we were trying more of the "extreme couponing". And it's been a little more time consuming. Definitely worth it. But time consuming. But we have managed to save 50% or more at a lot of our shopping trips. One trip I think we paid $160, but saved $180. So definitely worth it.
Then we got ourselves involved in selling stuff on Ebay. I/we've sold before, but it's been QUITE a while. It started because my brother purchased a storage unit at auction (a la Storage Wars). And we were helping him resell his items, and we would get 50% of the profits. We put some things on Craigslist, but things that were smaller/easy to ship, we found could better benefit on Ebay.
Then we started all kind of doing a spring cleaning, for lack of a better word, and getting rid of these we all don't need or use anymore. I went through both kids clothes, and decided what was worth keeping, and what wasn't, or I wasn't too attached too. I definitely was a little more attached and kept more of Meredith's clothes. Logan had totes and totes full of baby clothes, a lot of hand-me-downs, and things that just aren't quite my style. IF we have another baby, it's not stuff I'd really use again. So I ended up with a good amount of boys stuff to sell/get rid of. But I made sure I still have PLENTY of stuff for the next babe if we have one (Matt always said he didn't want more than 2 kids, but I'm really pulling for a 3rd in a couple years).
So Ebay-ing has taken up quite a bit of time in the last few weeks, but definitely been worth it. We've made decent money (although mom and i did spend some of it right back on Ebay buying things for the kids! haha).
I've also been trying to continue doing a better job of getting a home-cooked meal on the table every night. Definitely been slacking though as of late. I need to get my butt back into gear.

Then there's the slow sort of potty-training process we've been going through. It's a little hard to dive into it full speed since Logan still doesn't talk a lot right now. (He's 2 yrs, 3 1/2 months old). Once he can talk a little more I'm hoping we can communicate better on the whole talking about when he has to pee thing. For now, we are just sitting him on his potty a few times a day. About 50% of the time he will pee on the potty. I think the rest of the time he just doesn't have to go. Although lately he's been fighting us about going in the bathroom to go!! I have no idea why! I carried him kicking and screaming into the bathroom yesterday morning, but as soon as he sat down he peed! So I don't know what the tantrums are about. And he likes putting his big boy diapers on (Huggies slip-ons). He knows he pees, then I wipe him, then he puts a foot out for me to slide his slip-on on him.Hopefully he can continue and we can keep moving forward. I decided come January we are going to make a harder push on the potty-training. He will be 2 1/2 come January 11th, and I want to have him trained by the time he's 3. I always used to think kids were potty-trained before that, but lately I keep hearing more and more parents saying that they didn't start training until about 2 1/2 (especially with boys). So we'll see.

And then my sweet little baby girl finally cut her first tooth on 11/5. It's made me nostalgic. Yes, already. I've been thinking a lot when I lay in bed at night about my babies. And how they got big too fast. I try to sit and remember holding Logan as a little newborn in the middle of the night. I have a few really fond memories of some really great bonding time we had in the middle of the night a few times. But as time goes on, the picture in my head fades more and more. Yes, I have photos, but there's no replacement for those images you keep stored in your brain of times you loved. And I was frustrated as a new mom with him with the breastfeeding. I had a very low milk supply, no matter what I tried, and couldn't breastfeed him for long. Plus the emergency C section. I was very emotionally drained from feeling like I failed from both those things, and probably couldn't enjoy him the way I should have. And now I regret it. And similarly with Meredith. The first couple weeks with her were great. Then the colic set in. And believe me, I know it can be hard to understand if you haven't gone through it. I had a friend tell me about her fussy baby a few years before I got married, and I always used to think either she should have/could have been doing something differently, or that she was exaggerating. But no. If you have an infant with real, true, colic......it can be crazy. I was convinced there was something wrong with this poor child. Nothing seemed to soothe her. I even had her see a second pediatrician (who also verified that she was fine). I had prepared myself that something was wrong with her in some way. But they said no, probably just colic. And from 1 month old, until 5 months old, this poor child cried and cried. For HOURS every day and night. And it drained me. I had help, but it drained me. And I was making a better attempt at breastfeeding longer this time. They advised I do breastfeeding and formula when she was a newborn because of how quickly she lost weight (due to my slow milk production).So I tried like heck to breastfeed that baby as much as possible (and pump too). I went about 3 days with an hours sleep one time. And I can only remember feeling like I wasn't going to survive. People would say, it normally starts going away at 3 months old. So I wished she'd be 3 months old. People would say, it will go away when she's 4 months old, so I wished for 4 months old. And I wished away her newbornness.... If I could go back in time I'd find a way to change it all. Some way to make it work better. Some way to be more tolerant. Some way to enjoy my infant sweet baby girl.
Because now.... she's just not a newborn anymore. She's so big. So different. And I feel like once again, I missed some of her childhood. And I get angry at myself for that. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would. But I guess that's why they say hindsight is 20/20.

But looking forward, and enjoying every minute of everyday is hard. But I am trying. I am making a better effort. Even in those pull-you-hair-out moments when the kids are screaming, and everyone needs to eat and be changed all at once. I am trying to take in every second. Because this is it. This is their childhood. And it is going by so quickly. And I'm such an emotional sap that I'm always worried about them getting older on me too fast.
And with Thanksgiving being next week, I am definitely trying to be more thankful. And so far, I think it's working.
Because I am truly blessed. I have 2 happy, healthy, sweet kids. And a loving husband. And amazing family. And some of the best friends anyone could ever ask for. A roof over our heads. And food to eat.

So that's it. That's life. And it's hard, and exhausting, and amazing, and wonderful.
I'm going to try and blog more (I know, I know, I always say that). But I'm also trying to enjoy my kids and life more. So I may not make it on here as much as I would like. We shall see.

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